English Jokes

[EhsanJ]

[ltr]Hey, guys and girls. what's up? Nowadays we're spending a rather sad time in our lives and i'm sure most of the people having a hard time living in this age ... so i made this topic to put some jokes and improve our dose of daily laughter so that we can take our mines off our problems and issues, so if u guys ever found any funny joke, don't hesitate to put here in this topic and i'm sure we can all enjoy it! thanx 4 ur support! x[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]There were two muffins beside another in one oven, One muffin said "Hi" , The other one said " Holy f**k! A talking muffin!!!!"[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]Johnny finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how he did his exam. He replied, 'Exam was okay, but For the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought,and thought, at Last I wrote THUNK!!!'[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]The Postman: 'I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this parcel.'
Johnny : 'Oh..Why did you come so far? Instead you could have posted it.'[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]Johnny goes to a five star hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washingThe basin Instead...The manager comes running and asks him,'Sir, what are You doing?'
Johnny replies, 'Read this board here, it says `Wash Basin'.'[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]Doc 2 Patient:
The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient 2 Doc:
The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]Teacher: Johny,
if your father earned $100,000 and gave half of it to your mother,
what would she have?

Little johny: A heart attack![/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr] A boy goes to see a dance.
His mom angrily asks him:
Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?

Boy: yes, I saw dad![/ltr]

 

[تي تي]

پاسخ : English Jokes

thanks for this topic. Iused all ofthe joks in my moms web. because of she is an english teacher.

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

thanks for this topic. Iused all ofthe joks in my moms web. because of she is an english teacher.

[ltr]Oh, you're welcome! it's alright, i hope they're useful 4 u! My mom's an english teacher too btw[/ltr]!

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]Man: Is there any way for long life?

Dr: Get married.

Man: Will it help?

Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]Saudi Prince goes to Germany to study. A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train." Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten milli...on dollar check saying:"Stop embarrassing us go and get yourself a train too!"[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]A student wrote a letter to his father from Hostel:

Dear Dad!
No Money, No Fun
Your Son.

His Father Replied:
Dear Son!
So Sad, Very Bad,
Your Dad![/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]A chinees couple have three sons,
When 1st son was born, they named him HUE-CHING-CHONG,
When 2nd son was born, they named him MUI-Zingh-Zhong,
But their third was is BLACK, they named him SOME-THING-IS-WRONG.[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]a stupid guy: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
stupid guy: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]All d electrons were hvng a party..
Suddenly protons attacked them.
A hero came & saved d electrons.
They asked d hero
"who r u?"
he said
"I m Bond.. Covalent bond"[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]
Sales Man: Sir, which shaving cream do u use?
Customer: Kumara's.
S.M : Which after shave do y use ?
C : Kumara's.
S.M : Which tooth paste do u use ?
C : Kumara's
S.M : Which shampoo do u use ?
C : Kumara's.
S.M : Sir , what is this kumara's is it an international company ?
C : No, he is my room mate.[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]
Man runs home and shouts:
"Pack your Bag Honey! I just won 10 million dollars in the lottary."

Wife: "Do I pack for the Beach or the Resort?"
Man: Who Cares Just Pack and Get Lost...[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]A Beggar Came Up To A Man And Said: I Haven't Tasted Food All Week...

Man Replied: Don't Worry, It Still Tastes The Same[/ltr]

 

[EhsanJ]

پاسخ : English Jokes

[ltr]FUNNY POEM:

One fine morning in the middle of the night.
Two dead boys woke up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other.
Took out their swords & shot each other.
One deaf policeman heard the noise
& killed the two dead boys.
Believe this lie, its really true
Ask the blind beggar, he saw it 2![/ltr]